Icelandic ash covers pre-election Britain in uncertainty
As you know, I’m not one for saying “I told you so” when I get things right, especially as Syntagma has been so spot on about this election I fear I may bore my readers. Or be offered the Mystic Meg slot in the Sun.
However, some things can’t be stifled even within the most modest of breasts. This is what I wrote on Wednesday, before the TV election debate:
“Nick Clegg is the wild card. He is more important than many pundits suppose. He’s the grit in the oyster, which causes so much discomfort that the creature smothers it with precious material. Dave and Gordon should resist siding with this dangerous interloper against the other man on pain of producing a pearl that reflects brighter than either of them in the eyes of the viewers.”
Now I’ve started, I may as well get it all off my chest. Some weeks ago I suggested that David Cameron cancel the debates altogether. I couldn’t see what he had to gain, unless, as Charles Moore pointed out over the weekend, it was sheer vanity. As we all know, a politician without vanity would be like Gordon Brown without the Arctic Monkeys [Humour Alert].
Again, in a piece last week which visualized the election as a horse race — the Epsom Derby, in fact — Dave wins, but … Nick secures a deadheat with Gordon. This has yet to happen, but don’t bet against it. Spooky, isn’t it?
Now, I’m not going to try your patience with any more examples of my powers of second sight. I want instead to run by you the possibility that something very positive could come out of this extraordinary stirring of the electoral pot.
Imagine, if you will, the new Parliament meeting for the first PMQs of the season. Dave sits on the Treasury bench as Prime Minister. Opposite him is the Leader of the Opposition, Nick Clegg. Down a bit and to the right is the third party leader, a chap with the unfortunate name of Balls (I confess, it could easily be Miliband).
Clegg leaps to his feet, as the new Speaker, Andrew Lansley, announces PMQs. Nick, radiant as a new mum in a materity unit, beams around the chamber. “I want this to be the most inclusive Parliament in our history,” he cries.
Dave mutters something to George Osborne on his left. Lip-readers translate it as, “He’ll be lucky. He nearly did me out of the election. If he thinks I’m going to …” The rest is drowned out by raucus laughter from the Tory backbenches. Even the subdued Labour contingent manage a guffaw or two.
So would that be so bad? Labour decimated in what might be called the Panic Election, which produces the biggest turnout since the Second World War. On the day, voters are truly terrified that Clegg will let Brown back into Downing Street so turn out in droves to vote Conservative. In the process, the LibDems become the second party.
I could live with that. It wouldn’t take long for the LibDems to be exposed for the flimsy troup they are, while Labour would be destroyed for decades.
That would give us a bright new Conservative Prime Minister who could get to grips with the National Debt without fear of electoral reprisals from the odious Labour party. We might even get shot of Big Boss Brussels.
Don’t rule it out. Syntagma is rarely wrong.
I’ll rephrase that: Syntagma sincerely hopes he is not wrong — for all our sakes.
John Evans

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