Two decidedly weird stories caught my eye this morning, both involving blog networks.

The first comes from Michael Arrington at TechCrunch. An almost unknown blog network (to me, at least) called Popsugar has raised VC funding of $5 million, valuing it at around $12–15m : “Blog network Sugar Publishing (the most popular blog in the network is PopSugar) has raised ‘around $5 million’ in a Series A round investment from Sequoia Capital.”

Sequoia Capital is something of a legend in the industry, not a bunch of wet-behind-the-ears kids with more money than sense.

So what is Popsugar? The main site has snippets of news about teeny idols and screen stars of the moment like Scarlett Johanssen, who’s described as the sexiest woman on earth. Great judgement for a dumpy blonde with a nondescript face. But “hip teen women” may like it, of course.

Is it a flyer? You have to respect Michael Moritz of Sequoia but I suspect it may be a case of bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

The second story is that newly fund-injected b5media is helping to send author and guru Shel Israel on an extensive round the world trip as their Ambassador.

His Excellency Ambassador Israel will visit many countries while researching his new book and representing the b5ers along the way. What next for Jeremy and co, an Embassy at the United Nations?

And what will Shel actually do for them? Talk to a few hundred people who may, or may not, visit b5’s rather low-key main site? Will that investment pay off? Our readers will surely judge for themselves.

One word springs out here for both cases : inflatus.

Yes, there is an audience for teen sites, but they usually have to have something more going for them than gossip regurgitation and a line of comment. They do also have a “social networking” site, TeamSugar, but I’ve only looked at the oh-so-typical Web 2y front page. Frankly I’ve seen so many like it, even the colourful, chunky graphics look familiar.

And blog networks don’t need ambassadors. Face to face is unproductive compared with online viral transmission, whatever you’re trying to get across. Unless, of course, the Bill Gates Syndrome has already set in at b5. Can we expect The b5media Foundation to alleviate world poverty, with Bono as their next Ambassador?

Come on, guys, get a sense of proportion here.

This is not a subject I normally think much about, nor write about here. However, three reasons spring up to make an exception this time.

One: it’s Sunday and there’s not much else to write about. The second is that I’ll be plunging into the market for a property in Devon in the New Year. And three, an entry in Jason Calacanis’s blog suggests that market prices are collapsing in Southern California.

Joining up the dots : what happens in America happens in Britain a few months later. And what happens in California soon spreads to the rest of U.S.

Ergo, I could have timed my prospective foray into the market to perfection. And since this is the new Syntagma Towers we’re speaking about, it’s clearly a matter of global significance. We are after all a “Global Media Network” “widely-read Network Magazine” — with two more to follow.

The interesting point here is that the housing markets have been very strong both in the States and the UK for over a decade, and a main driving force in their economies. Currently, the British market, after a short lull, is picking up strongly again.

A crash in California should give us all pause for thought. “When a butterfy flaps its wings in the Amazon, a hurricane follows in Europe.”

Mind you, there must be trillions of butterflies in the Amazon rainforest. I just can’t remember trillions of hurricanes.

The following story is not for the squeamish or anyone shy of opening their mouth in these politically-correct times.

Today’s UK Daily Mail reports : “The inquiry has lasted more than a year and cost a great deal of money… Witness statements have been taken and a 300-page report compiled. And the alleged crime being investigated? A group of councillors are said to have made baa-ing noises during a debate on sheep.”

Er … baa-ing noises?

“Havering District Council is treating the case with the utmost seriousness. The list of suspects has been narrowed down to four and a hearing will be held next month at which they could face suspension for bringing the council into disrepute.”

You know, whenever Americans say to me, “Your Tony Blair is wonderful”, I’ll be tempted to reply, “You don’t have to live here. You can’t even say baa to a sheep.”

I don’t know about you but I’m hardly getting any comment spam these days. It seems to have dropped off to a thin trickle over the last week or so.

Not that I’m complaining. At its peak we were getting around 500 spam comments a day on our top two sites in the network. I would spend an hour and a half every day scouring our scores of sites for these wretched things. In the end I had to bring in first-comment moderation to keep them out.

However, despite the welcome reduction (it won’t last), I’ve seen a correspondingly huge increase in spam emails to my Gmail accounts. If I slip out for an hour or two, there will be 70 or 80 of these little darlings in the spam trap when I return — one or two will have made it through Google’s pretty sharp defences.

The odd thing is that most of them are labelled “Spam” by the sender. I sometimes wonder if it’s not a Monty Python joke.

Clearly these are sent out by machine and, since they’re so similar, by the same machine. Many are in an Oriental language, so are apparently out of reach of Western authorities.

Since China blocks a lot of stuff from the West, why can’t we block this spam too. It can’t be beyond the wit of technological man to nail these blighters.

But worse was to befall. Many of these emails have attachments which probably contain “active content”, presumably viruses. One of them must have got through the virus protection on our main machine because strange things have been happening to it recently. Internet Explorer suddenly started shooting off empty windows at an unstoppable rate, and the machine was constantly active while the principal work slowed right down to a standstill.

We had a rogue dialler on board which the firewall wouldn’t let out, so it kept on dialling. Cryptic messages appeared. “Can’t do that because the other program is busy”. It’s that reference to “the other program” that sends shivers down the spine. Deus ex machina, indeed.

In the end I managed to find all these scraps of code, including a hidden file for constantly reproducing and copying other files, plus the dialler, and one or two other little beauties dreamed up by twisted minds somewhere in a Shanghai squat.

I would recommend that you turn off “hidden” files in folders containing important information so that all files are visible. Check through the folders regularly for odd looking items. As many of these things come in on images, it’s especially important to do this in your pictures folder.

I hope that cheers you up for the weekend ahead. Mind how you go.

Ye Gods! Have you read the latest public relations excercise for IE7 (Internet Explorer) on Microsoft’s IE blog?

You would think we were being asked to prepare for the second coming of Jesus Christ. When I finished reading it I was almost shaking in my boots.

What is this phenomenon rapidly approaching our shores? Hurricane Browser?

The list of Things-To-Do to prepare for the deluge include downloading a previous “release candidate” to make sure it doesn’t zap your system (too late if it does, no doubt) and downloading a special “Readiness Toolkit” to ensure you have no lurking enemies of IE hanging around.

But it doesn’t end there. These guys are really motoring now. “Download and use the Application Compatibility Toolkit”. When you’ve finished messing about with that : “Visit the Microsoft Internet Explorer Developer Center”.

There’s more : “Use the Information Index for Internet Explorer7″ and : “Read the IE Team Blog”.

Worse, you’re going to get it whether you like it or not — if you’re on automatic Windows update.

I can’t recall jumping through so many hoops when I downloaded Firefox.

This is a good example of what I call The Leviticus Strategy, after the Old Testament book. Reduce your punters to submission with an list of instructions so long they naturally assume you’re a great authority on the subject.

C’mon Microsoft, you may be paranoid, but why should you infect your customers as well?

And what on earth is it going to be like when Windows Vista, the greatest juggernaut of them all, hoves into view next year?

I think I’ll book one of Richard Branson’s flights to the moon. The vista may be calmer there.

I was reading a post over at The Register titled: “Chip sales enjoy record growth in August”.

Someone looking over my shoulder said: “What about fish?”

Well, I thought it was funny.

Politicos in the Westminster Village are probably laughing themselves silly with the news that Hurricane Gordon is set to hit the British Isles.

What’s funny? Only Scotland will be affected *.

Is this a mystic sign of things to come? You couldn’t make it up.

* Gordon Brown, a Scot with a Scottish Constituency, wants to be Prime Minister of England.

Pythagoras’s Theorem has 24 words.
The Lord’s Prayer — 66 words.
Archimedes Principle — 67 words.
The Ten Commandments — 179 words.
The Gettysburg Address — 286 words.
New European Union rules for the sale of cabbages — 26,253 words.

From the Parish Magazine of St. Mary Magdalen, Chulmleigh, Devon, UK.

A Peter Kay line in Phoenix Nights (UK sitcom) has been voted the greatest one-liner in TV comedy history :

“Garlic bread — it’s the future, I’ve tasted it”.

I’ve often wondered who gets to make these decisions. Some of us have thrown away better one-liners than that. Haven’t they watched any episodes of Friends (especially Chandler), or Frazier? I’m guessing it’s all in the performance for this one.

Here’s my contribution : “Chicken Kiev — the best squirt in the eye I’ve ever had.”

Shan’t give up the day job.